#and one piece is not just really really good rn but also
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All of us, fellow travellers
#one piece#monkey d luffy#op fanart#gear 5 luffy#sun god nika#everything's kinda horrible right now#and one piece is not just really really good rn but also#an important work with very relevant ideas about the world we live on#might not seem much#but i hope this art can bring you a little comfort and hope#drums of liberation my people
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so I finished side order recently
#splatoon#pearl houzuki#agent 8#marina ida#acht mizuta#my stuff#inktober piece 2 :)#shoutout to my brother who reminded me i could replay the credits whenever because i had to get some extra refs for eight's model#and saved me from having to slog up the tower again#now if only splatoon could do that for every cutscene eh. please#i want to relive a lot of cutscenes and youre killing me for it splatoon#anyway did you know splatoon's official art has. well it wildly varies from piece to piece#they all follow like a very loose guidelines but also they all split off into their own things half the time#me with seven tabs of art trying to figure out if i want to do lines to separate pearl's fingers: so this one has lines but this one doesnt#'this one isnt relevant to this issue all fingers are splayed'#so in the end i just did whatever i wanted. i think that's a core tenet of art. do whatever you want. forever#also spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what was etched into marina's headphones#im 98% sure it is the off the hook logo. but nothing save from booting up splatoon and checking myself would say for sure#and i didnt wanna boot up splatoon cause if i did then id inevitably be down a couple hours because 'oh well im here already. one run maybe'#but regardless!! im proud of how this came out even if i was supposed to have finished two days ago to keep with my schedule#especially the bg :) i think i did really good on that.#and eight's little smile i think thats the charm point of the whole piece and it took me about ten drafts to get it properly#i think i did good on that too.#im so enamored with splatoon rn help
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🍓Artfight
Bean by tism on artfight 🍓
#artfight#art fight 2024#artists on tumblr#art#finished piece#illustration#my art#digital art#2024 art#I LOVED THIS CHARACTER DESGIN YIIPPPPEEE#My first art fight of the year yiipppppeeee guys#I hope tism likes it ‼️#this is actually the second time I’ve drawn one of tisms characters I really love the designs#I dunno I think the rest of my attacks will be in more of my evil art style as it’s just easier for me I feel#though aruughhhhh this one looks so good so I dunno maybe I’ll switch it up depending#but I was sooooo freaking productive I did two finished artfights sketched one and did a completely diffrent drawing#lamo i also started another#I’m doing so much rn Istg I’m gonna burn out so quickly lamo 😔#winged character#??? i think#though pretty sure it’s just an accessory#strawberry
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One Piece #758 (vol. 76)
Hang on, I need a second... Usopp, who usually takes credit even for things he didn't do, who respects Luffy's good opinion so much that he credited his faith in his crew as the reason they kept fighting, that he agreed to work with a random, dangerous Warlord in a plan to take out an Emperor of the Sea just because Luffy complimented him, saying it doesn't matter if he never finds out that Usopp saved his life, as long as he's safe and can keep going...
Not that it's unprecedented for Usopp to do something like this - in fact, it's one of the first things we see him do. He also kept Kuro's invasion of his home village a secret. And maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I don't think it's completely irrelevant that Syrup Village's existence such as it was (a peaceful and carefree place that, if anything, could use someone like Usopp causing mischief to liven it up every once in a while) depended on the secrecy. Here he just thought, "I saved you, that's enough".
(Not to mention the comparison - this would be putting Luffy on the same level as his home village, the place he grew up in.)
#One Piece#one piece manga#Usopp#Monkey D. Luffy#Dressrosa arc#fuck it I don't really ship it but I'm feeling it rn#usolu#THE THING IS. for all of Usopp's good qualities. humility isn't really one of them (not as something separate from his cowardice)#some issues ago he demanded a statue from the people he'd tricked and had planned to abandon!#and it's not just bc he cares abt Luffy. He's also putting his faith in him as the person who can save them. He'll shelter him from harm#of all kinds -even knowing that he'd been in danger- he'll give him peace so that he can keep fighting FOR ALL OF THEM#but also this is just after thinking that he doesn't want the sea without Luffy#Usopp who'll run scared until you hit one of his buttons my beloved#<- she says after wanting to tear her heart out when he was about to abandon the Tontottas#but also this is what unlocks his haki
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I literally do not have anything smart to say here, this drawing literally only happened because my siblings were telling me I should post my brainrot doodles on here, and my anxiety-ridden ass couldn't do it, and decided the only solution was to spend days (read: the entire latter end of April) working on a proper drawing because "if I'm going to post anything on tumblr, it better be a full-ass drawing"
#little fire's art#dragon ball#kaioshin#db shin#grand supreme kai#north supreme kai#south supreme kai#west supreme kai#idk the proper tags#and I don't really care rn#I just want to get this posted so I can hide in the Void for a million years or so#anyway#normal db fan: MY FAV CHARACTER IS [insert super duper powerful character here]#meanwhile#me: *holds up Shin* blorbo...#but hey this drawing did make me make some big steps out of my comfort zone for art#so I guess my db brainrot is good for something??#also for the record I DID finish this a couple days ago#my anxiety just prevented me from posting it here until now#but technically it's still a contender for April's art piece for the end of the year art summary#I'M NOT GOING TO MISS TWO M0NTHS#Feb sucked bc my tablet said fuck you and I had to replace it#if anything looks wonky pose-wise just remember I don't use pose refs much#bc I hate myself#no really#I just about drove myself insane one night trying to figure out how to draw Shin's right arm#bc the angle is weird and idk why I did this to myself#shut the fuck up Fire
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the legends speak of it as a kind of enthrallment: the life ended by the tiger is tied to the tiger. in this way there is a line of souls following the beast, for no reason except to show that they were killed. that they could be saved - if only the beast would die [...] in the dark of the wood you see it walk, shadow to shadow, followed by loss after loss after loss, a tail trailing seemingly into the deep death of night [...]
#bakuspecial#cw: body horror#cw: nudity#ask to tag#hi. this is actually not at all the piece Ive been sitting on. I just suddenly really wanted to sketch this at 4 last night#and now. it got done before the one Ive been looking at for uhhhh four days! awesome#this legend I only know like colloquially but it is real btw. iirc#like if a tiger mauls u ur soul has to follow it around until it does#dies. I mean dies. when it does anything is kinda why ur there in the first place#this is very divorced from its full context tho lol tigers and most big animals were generally thought to be long lived and uh. magic?#like they become sapient. when they live long enough. and they start learning spells n shit#so when u become tiger thrall its assumed the tiger actually has stuff for u to do. ur not just following it doin nothing#granted the stuff its assumed it'd want u to do's probably fucking up people's lives or find more stuff for the tiger#greed is also assumed for these beasts generally. so yeah#okay holy fuck I should NOT be awake rn. my brain is not working anymore#have a good night lads. had a really fucking good beef stew tonite. here's to many more of those and for u guys to have some
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(click for better resolution, etc.)
#adamandi#ambrose wellington bassford#infer as you will i suppose. wanted to draw a statue ambrose but accidentally painted it because smth smth blending fits him#again. main things taken from lyrics of the actual show ++ this definition i checked with google because i didn't remember it off the top#of my head. but Thoughts indeed#sfgdhhdf ok hello i am back today has been a Day (not very good) (oh well) (small mercies) ...#did not expect the melliot to find this so quickly but since i guess the Official Tumblr has reblogged it i'll just edit this one.#as opposed to reuploading. o//o#i painted it at 2am on impulse and have very little recollection of the whole event -? and then in a fit of pique added words and posted it#it is Very different from the original draft. i'd like to maybe do that one justice someday... anyways something something sometimes#a piece of art you make organically Evolves of its own volition... anyways.#maybe i'm projecting but recently (tuesday?) i found out something Important i had in the works Collapsed in the kiln#kaboom. ah the perils of ceramics. anyway thanks to the messed up 3d of everything i'm working on rn (the pros and cons of visual art subj#is that you get to make art for a grade) and. ceramics and sculpture and classics etcetera. <blinks> wow i really latched on to art aspects.#but nevertheless! ambrose brainrot real. iirc my thoughts were smth like. most strongly. that contrapposto? based on my school art history#was that it evolved from the very neutral rigid ancient greek sculptures of people which were all about Mathematical Symmetry. because#the main thing about contrapposto was that it reflected irl people more... more life-like? so it's very ironic to me#that Alive ambrose went and tried to turn himself into a statue. with part of the draw being contrapposto.. like?????#ah yes you like this sculpture because it's lifelike. and you'd rather be a sculpture than alive huh. the contrasts are !! in my head#also maybe i just.. wanted to paint... idk i had ambrose on the brain yesterday and it was something about sculptural messed up perfection#fun fact!!! the skin and hair i all greyed out to look like marble. fun fact number two: he has no eyes in this. like no pupils :3#fun fact number 3 (irrelevant) marble statues are only common wrt ancient greece bc the romans iirc came along and repurposed the bronzes.#because apparently bronze was a Hot Commodity at the time. and in return to preserve the art they made marble replicas. so most marble#ancient greek statues are apparently copies and the originals had totally different aesthetics#fun fact number 4: the background is a very greyed out image of my broken ceramics.. i wanted something nice to come out of it at least#fun fact number 5: i wanted to make him crack. like shattered ceramic or smth. that was the original idea. but instead it went to the pretty#sculpture route... kinda wanna make the messed up one though!!#fun fact number 6! because of Art Studio i'm covered in white paint and like it doesn't come off so it's been on my fingers and arms and#basically everywhere. so flesh turning into white stuff aes is fascinating i wanna explore... fun fact no.7.. i have accidentally maybe#began using screenshots as drawing practice. idk what to do with this info. if anything nice turns up ig i'll post it maybe
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I miss the person I was a year ago. two years ago. more social. happier. doing more creatively.
#ya girl is just sad today#yelling into the void bc idk where else to yell#I was so much happier this time last year#even tho I have really good things in my life rn#I just think about like#April 2023 me :(#or!#fall 2020 me#she was living in constant covid anxiety sure#but she was also having the time of her life writing phinbella romance and sharing it with friends#now I haven’t updated that fic in nearly two years#and there’s friends I just don’t see much of anymore#which is no one’s fault that is just how life is#but it just aches#I just feel so sad#or 2021 me#she was posting so much art!!! literally living it up!!!!!!!#now well I mean#my newest pnf piece has gotten close to 500 likes on instagram which has never happened with my pnf art before#so that’s really cool#but I just#ugh#at least I have TTPD#I feel so disconnected from people which is the true reason I post art or fic or whatever#even tho I have lovely friends who I adore!!! they just feel far away#which isn’t anyone’s fault it’s just how life is and my own weird perception of the world#anyway#all this to say I do have a chfil chapter in the works still#maybe finishing that will heal me lmao#cadence rambles
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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semi cursed phan au: suits (phil is harvey and dan is mike) purely so that phil can confidently tell clients that he'll get them off and dan can cringe in the corner
#lou is loud#dnp#phan#will I ever write this? the odds are extremely low#I've been vaguely thinking to the future that I'd like to write a chaptered fic but I've never been good at those#also I have two Star Wars pieces that are chaptered and one is actually not in bad shape like I really should fix that one up#just mostly focusing on the phospital fic rn#when I can focus at all am I right aha
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as someone who cannot deal with mobile gacha games post-2016 I AM cautiously intrigued by infinity nikki. visuals look fantastic and so cute, the platforming in the ign gameplay i saw seemed a little rough but as long as its not too hard i'll be fine (<- said as a person who is shockingly bad at 3d platformers) but i am hopeful. if its a fun game to play i'll be really excited, as someone who's only played nikki up2u ive always been curious about how that normal girl dressup game turned into like. nikkis hellscape or whatever ive heard about it. nikkis torture dimension. nikkis purgatorial plain of endless suffering. thats my understanding of the franchise at least.
#up2u was the only one i could handle orz also the only one out at the time LOL but i did try the others at later points#i dropped off pretty quick tho because UNFORTUNATELY like i said i really really cannot deal with gacha game pacing#like specifically post 2016 ish it got really bad because games got more complicated. so the opening tutorial would be like hours long#and it would always piss me off. and by the time i got to the actual game i was too burnt out to read the stories#plus a big mobage design philosophy rn is like. grind for a reward. but that doesnt work on me if i dont like the grind#i love grindy games. i love number go up. i love repetitive tasks. but the focus has to be the grind#the grind cant be designed like an obstacle. which is why i didnt really like sif2 despite my adoration for sif1 LOL#rest in pieces............... its about the grind being the fun part in the mechanics. if the fun part is just the gacha and story well#i'd really rather them just be visual novels orz my mobile game curse.........#anyway. i hope its good!! and i hope its like a normal priced game rather than f2p for my sake <3
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does anyone have any tips on how not to be a crippling perfectionist about your writing?? i have been staring at the same five paragraphs of the next chapter of four walls for a whole week and i've reached the point where i actually want to defenestrate my own laptop
#i've got the later parts of this chapter and a good chunk of the next one basically done#but this particular section is slowly driving me insane#UGH#why do i write characters with complex and conflicted emotions#it makes for a very complex and conflicted writing experience#(which i'm bitching about rn i know but i also wouldn't give it up for the world. it's just. a lot sometimes)#i end up second guessing myself constantly#also i haven't written anything this long for a good five years and i think the challenges of that#and the challenges of making a longer piece all tie together and work as one are really starting to set in#anyway sorry please feel free to ignore this mess of a post#i just needed to have a vent before returning to my keyboard and trying to make sense of alex's foolish little head#thanks to anyone who read their way though all this rambling 😅#writing stuff#lulu posts
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LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!
#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭#MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too???#NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!!#yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything...#i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE????#is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1070#i am smiling so hard rn. contagious#also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success....#THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying#you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it#hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy#THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!!#the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE#this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!!#they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????!#episode 1071#momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!!#the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this...#we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members#law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses..#nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!!#wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk#THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING#FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!!#NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!!#episode 1072
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THEY'RE ALL SO COOL OMG?????? i love the planet as the 0 for 30 and and i love the way you've like,,fonted,, no.34
sighing just as dreamily rn
HEHEHE THANK YOU!! i was SO proud and felt so clever about the "sketchbook #3🪐" sticker thingy. its probably also my favorite cover ive ever done >;33
#man.. i should like show off all my sketchbook covers but like. make it an updated vers#even tho there is some major cringe in the older ones. but alas; i may be cringe; but i am free; so its all okay in the end#theres also a special place in my heart for the. uhh. “label” stickers?? or whatever theyre called???#cuz i got a pack of like 500 or more of them for like 2 bucks and i can just make my own sticker designs and put them anywhere#as is the case for the “sketchbook 3🪐” one; the “sketchbook 34”; the little blue star rectangle and the drawing of my oc void under that#WAIT NO SKETCHBOOK 28 ALSO HAS A BANGER COVER FUCK#cuz theres a lil jupiter doodle sticker#and a really pretty eye sticker i drew#idk. i LOVEEEEEEEEE the sticker labels theyre so fun#also another little fun piece of trivia about sketchbook 30#the blue-white square on it is also a candy wrapper#that i just. taped on it#its my favorite candy and its called milky splash and idk if its really ever sold anywhere but its HELLA popular here#and when i was in germany i could only find it in the russian imported goods stores hfdgjksd#but theyre so good. oh my god. i love them#wow i really am yapping rn#thats what i get for literally sleeping the whole day away on accident. the yappatron 3000 is acitve /lh#response#izak-gov
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omg chat why is writing kinda hard???
ok so this is a bit of an aside (warning: this post is long) but @348kg and i talked about this and honestly writing fanfics is a way for us to express ourselves creatively while using our idols as inspo for our work. and it’s fun most of the time.. but like honestly, 70-80% of the time, writing is hard. it’s not easy, like… it’s actually quite hard work.
and i know everyone has seen posts of like “pls reblog instead of just silently reading” or “pls like at least to show your appreciation” etc etc etc and ur probs sick of hearing it but like, it’s so true???
writing is honestly hard. and for most of us fanfic writers.. im sure you know but we have lives outside of our blogs. we are students, or we work normal jobs, we have life responsibilities, we have problems to deal with, and yet somewhere in between our busy lives we manage to find the time to sit down and create these pieces of writing for you, the reader, to read.
and tbh, i don’t really know where im going with this? i just want to let you know this: a typical 1-2k words one-shot probably takes me around 2-3 hours to write (on average, on a good day - sometimes longer or shorter). but it takes you maybe 10-15 mins, at most 30 mins to read depending on your reading speed. isn’t the time gap a little wild 🫠 on a typical work day, i get home from work at about 6, i cook myself dinner and eat, i shower and clean up, and if i know im writing that night, i make sure to clear my schedule (ie no overtime, no phone calls to friends or parents etc) and i sit on my laptop and write from about 10ish to about midnight. then i pause and i edit, and set things up to get ready post (think: pictures, title, word count, writing the warnings, summary, doing the tags) and by the time i post, it’s probably 1am.
i breathe a sigh of relief because it feels good! it feels really good to release my labour of love (literally) out into the world. and honestly, you know who you are, but those of you who constantly read and reblog my work, i see u!! (Alexa play i see u by p1harmony) and those who leave comments or reviews in the tags, i also see u (that’s why i like to reblog and respond to your tags too)!! it honestly brings me so much joy when someone comes and talks to me about something i wrote and how it made them feel. or even when someone recommends a fic i wrote. all these things that are so little and take so little of your time actually mean so much to me and im sure other writers as well.
and so i guess what im trying to say to everyone is: if you are a fic reader, if you read any fics, i just want you to know that the fic you loved reading took the writer a lot of resources to write (brain power, creativity and importantly time). i hope this gives u an insight into the process of a writer/writing a fic because im hoping it might help with whether or not you decide to hit that like or reblog or comment button in the near future!!
(also, i think it’s a shame that as writers sometimes we have to compromise on what we actually want to write vs what to write to get more engagement, likes, rbs etc. personally i have been writing on tumblr since 2020 on and off so ive been on here for four years now and i have a good sense of what is a good formula for a “successful” fic - usually it’s smut, usually it’s for the most popular member in terms of fic reading, and usually it’s of a certain length posted around a certain time etc etc. but i guess i don’t rly care anymore bc im a kinda old tumblr writer who isn’t bothered about the notes as much as i am just grateful for the little comments people send me saying that what i wrote made them feel seen or resonated with them. cos i think that is priceless 🥹)
PS. in no way am i complaining about the engagement or lack thereof that i personally get, nor am i complaining about the mere fact that writing is hard bc yes i am aware that i wanted to write in the first place and so it was my decision haha
#i wanted to do an ot6 fic by the end of tonight and i ONLY wrote jiung and felt bad about it T_T#but yeah#writing is hard ig#also to cover my ass i am not complaining just to be clear#I’m just stating that yeah i wanted to get fics out earlier rather than later but sometimes it’s just hard and life gets in the way#if you’re one of my mutuals on here u might know this but there’s some other external stuff going on in my life rn#which is making me like not as free to write essentially#and i really wanted to write something this weekend but I didn’t manage to so I am kinda disappointed in myself ngl#but#we live and we learn#and at least the blog got a face lift :)#I’m gonna keep working on the ot6 piece tho cos it’s rly fun#1 down#5 to go haha#good night friends#I hope ur having good weeks#don’t be too harsh on urself like I am bahaha#p1harmony writers#piwon writers#kpop writers#p1harmony fanfic#piwon fanfic#Kpop fanfic#shoutout to my readers#shoutout to my moots <3#I love you all actually#sending you a jiung style greeting AKA I’m keeping you all in my heart#*pounds chest cutely yet aggressively*#rach 💭
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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